Is it permissible for two divorced believers to remarry? This question can be controversial, can stir up spirited discussion between church members and is capable of causing dissension within the body of Christ. So I have decided to tackle this delicate subject with prayer and the word of God as my indispensable weapons of engagement and sift through the argument from a New Covenant perspective.
In Matthew 5:31-32, Jesus qualified the grounds for divorce as it is implied under Mosaic Law. He stated that divorce because of adultery was the only valid reason acceptable to him. “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.”
When we consider the meaning of His words, it helps to examine other things He said during the Sermon on the Mount. For example, “You have heard it said to the people long ago. ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgement.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgement. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” (Matthew 5:21-22).
Furthermore, in Matthew 5:27-28, Jesus declares, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” According to Jesus, who is sovereign, even our very thoughts cause us to fall short of God’s holiness.
Indeed, Jesus illustrated that it is humanly impossible to keep the law as God perceives it. That is why mankind is in such desperate need of a savior. Jesus fulfilled the law by living a sinless life, making Him the only one qualified to atone for our sins.
Because of His atonement, we are not under law but under grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). The apostle Paul goes to great lengths explaining that while we are under grace, it is not a license to willfully live a life of sin. It is important to note that the law was given to a rebellious people, who were quick to engage in wickedness and resistant to God’s leadership.
This is exemplified by their failure to remain faithful to God for the forty days that Moses was on Mount Sinai (Exodus 32). They deserted the God that had led them out of Egypt through the Red Sea, provided manna in the desert and went before them in a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. They were eyewitnesses to His power, yet they quickly turned their backs on the Lord and made a gold calf to worship when Moses was delayed in coming down.
Mosaic Law
Paul discloses in Romans 5:20-21, “The law was added so that the trespass might increase.” And the stubborn nation of Israel rebelled against the law just as they had rebelled against God. This rebellion was still evident when Jesus walked the roads of Judea, resulting in Him being crucified in a rebellious act against God’s hand of salvation.
The Mosaic Law and the interpretation of it are at center stage of the marriage debate regarding divorced believers. Therefore, we should be cognizant of what James wrote pertaining to the law. “If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself,’ you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. For He who said, ‘Do not commit adultery,’ also said, ‘Do not murder.’ If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.” (James 2:8-11).
Proponents of legalism conveniently ignore that under Mosaic Law, if a man was unmarried after the age of twenty (with the exception of concentrating on the study of the law), he was guilty of breaking God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply.” Additionally, first century Jews were taught that by not having children, an unmarried man, “killed his own descendants” and “lessened the glory of God on earth.”
Mindful that believers are not under the law but under grace, Paul teaches, “When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; He took it away, nailing it to the cross.” (Colossians 2:13-14). In essence, Jesus fulfilled the Law and became the Law. The Law of Grace and Truth (John 1:17).
Furthermore, Paul remains one step ahead in the debate. In Romans 6:1-2 he states, “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” He goes on to qualify what sin is in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (See also: Galatians 5:19-21). He is speaking about willfully persisting in sin.
Sexual immorality is defined as sex outside of marriage or “fornication.” Paul recommends marriage so that people can avoid being tempted into fornication (1 Corinthians 7:2-7). The Mosaic Law becomes self defeating when it prohibits someone remarrying and they succumb to the temptation of lust and fall into extramarital sex.
Those who persist in immorality of any kind cannot maintain a healthy intimacy with God and sexual immorality is especially damaging because it involves our physical bodies which are a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:13-20). We are called to holiness, therefore sexual immorality and purity must be paramount for believers (Ephesians 5:3).
Live By The Spirit
Paul instructs us to surrender to the Holy Spirit, “So I say live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.” (Galatians 5:16-18).
The Holy Spirit will not lead a believer to sin. We can please God by surrendering to the Holy Spirit and in doing so we ultimately please the law as well. We must tread lightly and understand what the spirit of the law is, as opposed to the letter of the law and what it means when Jesus says, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” (Matthew 9:13). The Holy Spirit can lead one to remarry the right person but He will never lead them into fornication.
If a divorced believer meets someone who is also a true believer and they desire to marry (not because of fleshly desires, but to sincerely share a life that worships God), is that union to be condemned as sinful? If both parties enter into such a relationship in good faith, with integrity, abstaining from premarital sex in honor and reverence for God with a desire to glorify God with their lives, are they doomed?
It is also worthy of consideration that if the previous marriage and subsequent divorce occurred before one became a believer, they may not have been ordained by God. Its therefore conceivable that the dissolution of such a union could not be construed as a contravention of Jesus’ instructions in Matthew 19:6, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” The context of the dialogue in this passage of scripture implies that humanity exists in a fallen state and what God considers “ideal” may not be humanly achievable. The failure of priests to live in celibacy is a case in point.
John 8:2-11 records Jesus encountering a woman caught in adultery. The Pharisees said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such a woman. Now what do you say?” The narrative goes on to say that Jesus replied, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” After all of her accusers left, Jesus asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you. Go and leave your life of sin.”
It is crucial to note that Jesus was quick to forgive and slow to condemn her and that He instructed her to stop sinning. Two very important lessons that have impact on the question we are attempting to answer.
How Does Jesus Define Sin?
Recognizing what sin is and how Jesus defines sin is paramount in comprehending how we ought to live. Remember, Jesus lived a sinless life, yet according to the Pharisees, he broke the Mosaic Law by healing on the Sabbath and permitting His disciples to pick heads of grain to eat on the Sabbath. In Matthew 12:11-12, Jesus addresses healing on the Sabbath, “If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? How much more valuable is a man than a sheep! Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath.”
Observation of the Sabbath is itself noteworthy. Paul states in Romans 14:6, “He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.”
A little further along in verse 22-23, Paul writes, “So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.”
Ultimately we must not disregard motive and virtue. Is a marriage the result of two people simply giving into their feelings and fleshly urges, or following their hearts? Our culture epitomises love as the impetus for marriage but the Bible says our hearts are deceitful and cannot be trusted (Jeremiah 17:9-10; Mark 7:21-23). Or is it because a person has prayed to meet a God fearing spouse to share their life in an way that honors Him and facilitates the full expression of their faith in a wholesome relationship? This logic is based upon the very same premise that condones Sunday worship rather than Saturday worship.
So when two sincere, godly people with broken pasts want to partner together and become husband and wife, through faith, and in good faith, desiring wholeheartedly to glorify God with their lives, who can judge? Is their reverence and sincerity pleasing to God? We are saved through faith and when we act in good faith, God discerns that we are led by the Holy Spirit and works for the good of us who love Him (Romans 8:27-28).
