When we give our hearts to Jesus in response to God’s love, we enter an eternal love affair. It becomes our responsibility to be faithful and dedicated to our beloved and submit ourselves to him as we would to a spouse. We are expected to forsake all others and follow him. This is much the same as being betrothed to Jesus and the true Church is depicted as the bride of Christ in scripture. To better understand this relationship, let’s examine the components that made up a Jewish marriage proposal in the first century when Jesus made these analogies.
The first step in the process involved the father of the groom paying a dowry or a price for the bride. The father would then take his son to the house of the potential bride and they would enter into an agreement of marriage or betrothal. This would likely include a marriage contract (shetar and/or ketubah) that was signed before two witnesses. The marriage contract included the details of the dowry and the names of the bride and groom as well as their families. Once the contract had been presented to the bride, the groom would pour a cup of wine for the bride and offer it to her. If she accepted the proposal as stated in the contract, she would accept the cup and drink from it.
Unlike an engagement as we understand it in the North American culture today, once a couple were betrothed in Jesus’s time, they were considered married, even though they did not yet live together. The woman was often considered “acquired” or “bought with a price” and is a married woman at this stage. If they did not want to follow through with the wedding, they required a divorce. The betrothal was more like phase one of a marriage than an engagement.
The groom would then return to his father’s house to prepare a marriage chamber or dwelling for the couple. Hebrew family dwellings usually included several houses and a courtyard where several generations would cohabitate. The important thing to remember here is that the father controlled the timing of everything. In fact, the groom would continue building the marriage chamber until his father said it was ready. At that point he would go and collect his bride. The groom never knew the day or the hour and neither did the bride. She would have kept a lantern filled with oil in the event he came for her after dark.
When Jesus and his disciples ate their last supper together, they celebrated their Passover meal in accordance with their Jewish custom. During the meal Jesus gives thanks and then proceeds to take the bread and break it. Instead of the traditional explanation for the lack of yeast in the bread, he tells those with him, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” Luke 22:19. Jesus then takes the cup, and says, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.” Luke 22:20.
The disciples then each drank from the cup signifying their agreement to the conditions of the covenant. Following the marriage contract ratification, Jesus then proceeded to pay the price of the dowry. His sacrifice on the cross, infinitely more valuable than an alabaster jar of perfumed oil or the total sum of all the animals sacrificed in the history of civilization, paid for the bride. The apostle Paul wrote, “you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6:20.
Jesus spoke of his imminent death after they had eaten the last supper and Jesus had washed the disciples’ feet. They were troubled by what he was saying so he comforted them with these words: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” John 14:1-3. His language very closely resembles that of Jewish wedding traditions.
In the 24th chapter of Mathew, Jesus speaks about signs of the end of the age and his return to earth at his second coming in similar language, “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” Mathew 24:36. In the next chapter, he elaborates using a parable to describe his return, “At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.
At midnight the cry rang out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’
Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.’
‘No,’ they replied, ‘there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’
But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut.
Later the others also came. ‘Lord, Lord,’ they said, ‘open the door for us!’
But he replied, Truly I tell you, I do not know you.’
Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.” Mathew 25:1-13.
Not only is this parable a lesson in prudence, it has multiple implications for the Christian Church today. As the Bridegroom we are assured that Jesus will return for his bride the Church, though we don’t know when that will be. He is in heaven as I write, preparing a place for us who believe. It has been two thousand years since Christ left so we must not be as the foolish virgins and treat the timing with complacency. Peter warns that, “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:8-9.
Through the cup of the new covenant believers are betrothed to Christ and the price for the bride has been paid in full. When Jesus proclaimed with his last breath, “It is finished.” (John 19:30), the deal was sealed, the dowry was paid. While the old covenant of sacrificing animals to atone for sin was instituted by God through Moses, it was broken by Israel, so Jesus, who fulfilled it through living a sinless life, instituted a new covenant through himself that is eternal.
The relationship between a bride and groom is an intimate one. When we accept Christ as our personal savior we recognize his sincere love for us and we reciprocate that love by committing our lives to him. True believers enjoy this intimate relationship with Jesus and forsake the world in favor of our marriage covenant with our Bridegroom. We long for his return to call us to himself, the sound of the trumpet and the promise of a home in heaven for eternity.
The return of Christ for his bride is imminent. All of creation anticipates it. The Bridegroom wants his bride. The Father knows the time will soon be upon us when the marriage chamber will be ready. Then the Bridegroom will come for us and we will dwell in the Father’s house forever.
